There’s Something About Funfetti (Cookies)

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I’ve spent the last few days surrounded by entirely too many cookies. It’s funny, I feel like I have a limitless sweet tooth, but when I get to the point that eating another cookie sounds disgusting, I know I probably passed my limit. Well, it’s been a weekend of holiday parties and more than a few delicious sweets have been showing up.

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I’ve also been spending my fair share of time in the kitchen in the last week, whipping up a variety of tasty treats that in no way could be considered healthy but hey—can’t desserts be sacred?

Anyways, I wanted to share a VERY EASY recipe on the blog:

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Funfetti Cake Cookies

  • 1 box Funfetti cake mix
  • 2 eggs
  • 1/3 cup oil (could do a healthier substitution if you want to, but the liquid is important for mixing)
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    Mix. Roll into balls. Flatten. Bake at 375 until edges are golden brown, around 9 minutes. Frost with buttercream frosting and gold sprinkles (or really any color of sprinkle…)
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I love funfetti and kind of want my wedding cake to be made from it. I know I can be a food snob at times, but honestly, I would probably choose a Funfetti cake over some delectable, gourmet, ridiculously expensive chocolate cake any day. Call me crazy but there’s something about Funfetti that just grabs me and pulls me in. I’m all for desserts made with unprocessed ingredients and completely from scratch but sometimes happiness really does come from a box.

This simple recipe can be adopted with most any cake mix, or you can also experiment with add-ins, like my red vevet cookies w/ white chocolate and almond. Yum.

Funny piece of blog history: my 24th birthday (In Africa), I received a package from my family that SAME DAY (impressive considering it takes about a month to get packages) with a box of funfetti cake mix in it. I made it and ate that for dinner. Ironically that post and its title (regarding eating cake for dinner) is one of my most viewed posts, as apparently there are a lot of people out there googling “Can I eat cake for dinner on my birthday?” and my personal favorite, “How many calories are there in eating all the leftover icing?” Girl after my own heart.

Hope you all had a great weekend!

Courtney

Do you like funfetti? Or any dessert mixes? Or do you stick with the real thing?

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  • Worth The Hurt? SF Marathon Recap!

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    So many of you already know I ran the San Francisco Marathon this Sunday. Here is my story.

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    I arranged everything the night before and got into bed at like 8PM. I was even tired, and therefore proud of myself—I’d actually get sleep! But then of course I lay in bed for 2 hours tossing and turning and listening to the neighbor’s dog upstairs bark its head off and once I DID fall asleep I woke up half a dozen times ready to go. Finally the 3:15AM alarm went off and it was go time.

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    I got dressed, pulled everything together, and ate my race-day breakfast (peanut butter and banana sandwich). Then I spit toothpaste all over my race shirt, almost poured flat Mike’s Hard Cranberry Lemonade (who buys that stuff?!) into my water bottles instead of Gatorade, and my cab didn’t come. My “confirmed” cab. Thank God I have a car! Jeez. Left around 4:25 AM and headed down towards the quiet and peaceful Embarcadero.

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    I was at the start area for a while, just kind of taking it all in (and waiting in portapotty lines). I moved from wave 2 back to wave 4 so I had 20 more minutes before the start. We were SO BLESSED with the weather—it was clear and crisp but not cold! I’d brought THREE extra layers to shiver in at the start line and it was perfectly pleasant. That was awesome.

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    Beforehand I’d run into Cate and Alyssa and then I met up with my new friend Erica in the wave 4 corral. It was SO NICE to see friendly faces in the morning and feel like we were all in it together.

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    Then the running part started.

    I went out with Erica and that was awesome. I also didn’t listen to my iPod for the first 8 miles which was even awesomer. I told myself the race didn’t start until mile 5 (the first real hill)… the beginning was just a warm up. I ran with Erica, chatted a bit, took in the whole experience, marveled at those out cheering at 6AM. I also went out too fast. I don’t have my Garmin splits (I’m at a hotel in Portland right now…) but I know I ran the first mile in 9 flat, the second in 9:10, the third in 9:05, and the fourth right around there.

    I was feeling rather good and rather fresh up to the first hill up to the bridge. I walked a part of that—I knew this was one of the tougher hills and didn’t want to push it too hard so early on. Then we were on the bridge.

    At mile 6 I was at about 55 minutes, averaging just over 9 minutes per mile. I started feeling pretty dehydrated at this point. I knew I needed to take in more liquid and also energy. I took my first GU at mile 6 and determined at that point I’d walk through the rest of the aid stations to make sure I actually drank at least two cups of water per, and even that wouldn’t be enough.

    Running the bridge was awesome. I’ve run the bridge a lot, but it’s always stressful dodging cyclists, strollers and tourists. This time was really awesome. Though I actually noticed much more that it was a hill! (Photo courtesy SFM)

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    Before I knew it the bridge was over and we were at mile 10 at 1:35 or so. The next hill in the Presidio was the biggest and I walked a BIG chunk of that. I didn’t feel bad at all, as I was decently ahead of 4:15 pace at this point. The hill wasn’t as bad as I remembered, though, and before I knew it I was running again. We made it into the Richmond, mile 11, and I was thinking that I had gone out much too fast. I had had it in my mind that it would get easier past the Presidio, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t have 16 more miles to run!

    I lost Erica at mile 11 when they split the road right between us and that really bummed me out—the miles had gone by so much faster with her next to me! But I pushed through the hills down the avenues and made it into Golden Gate Park at mile 12.

    I expected everything to get easier here—I was on my home turf! However, I felt the effects of my poor pacing. I crossed the half mark at 2:08.

    2:08 is a very respectable time for a half.

    2:08 is a VERY respectable time for the first half of SF which is verrrry hilly.

    2:08 is an IDIOTIC time for someone who planned to run the first half in 2:12-2:15 and then try to negative split the course as everyone says to do at SF.

    Pushing myself faster than I should have over the first half made the second half very difficult. Luckily miles 13-16 went by pretty fast because I knew I’d have friends at mile 16! The thought really brightened me up when I started to slow. (Photo below courtesy of RoadBunner—look how gorgeous and happy and awesome these girls are! Great signs. Thanks.)

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    At this point I was already taking a LOT of walk breaks. Big Sur was hillier and I didn’t start taking any walk breaks til mile 17 and this was much different. I felt dehydrated, tired, sore, achy, any combo of bad things. It was REALLY hard to keep running already. I willed myself around Stow Lake and out of the park, telling myself that it was all downhill from there (literally).

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    I couldn’t even run all the way down Haight Street (my street!) I was just still trying to recover from the worse hills of the first half and the pace. I had told myself I should never see an 8 on my Garmin; rather often I had looked down and seen myself running an 8:30 pace. That is NOT my marathon pace. And I paid for it.

    A guardian angel in the form of a coworker saved my life with a bottle of Gatorade at the mile 20 marker. The steep downhill on Haight Street was rather painful and knocked me out even worse. But then I knew I’d see my sister between mile 21 and 22 so it willed me on… and then the best surprise… MY WHOLE FAMILY was on the corner of 16th and Harrison! What a blessing. They walked up that corner with me and it was awesome. My dad had the app too that gave them my splits.

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    HONESTY: the last 4/5 miles were death. They were just horrible. Not scenic, industrial, ugly, rolling hills, couldn’t really tell where I was going, TIRED. I kept walking. I don’t know if it’s because I didn’t have the physical energy or the mental willpower to keep on going. At mile 23 I said I’d run the last 5K nonstop even if I was practically crawling. I made it 0.2 miles before I had to stop and walk again. It didn’t even necessarily feel like a wall. I just felt like I’d given up.

    Also, the course ran a bit long which made it so frustrating on the Garmin those last few miles. I’m pretty sure I clocked the race at 26.55 miles. That extra 0.35, legit or not, was like, four minutes on my marathon time! So I plan to subtract those four minutes and declare that my new time. Just kidding.

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    I knew where the finish line was before I could see it. I did everything I can to keep myself going. I’d seen my 4:15 pace slip to a 4:19 and then plus 4:20. I just didn’t want to risk not beating my Big Sur time of 4:27:50 or something like that so I willed myself across the finish line in 4:22:50, a PR by 5 minutes.

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    After those last five miles of misery I was very, very grateful to be done.

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    And to get a heatsheet. My first heatsheet! Courtney’s all grown up…

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    Once I was able to hobble my way out of the finish chute and around to my fam, I immediately stuffed half a banana, half a scone, and a handful of M&Ms into my mouth and then promptly wanted to vomit (but I didn’t so success).

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    Once I could walk and talk normally again we went to the ferry building for bathrooms and to grab some food for the fam. it was SUCH an amazing surprise to see all my family there and it meant so much to me to have them there for me when I crossed the finish line and promptly ceased to be a sentient being.

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    So I finished alive and set a PR. But how do I really feel about this race?

    Basically, it would be foolish and selfish of me to be anything BUT overjoyed with this race. I have blogged about SFM a lot lately leading up to it, about injury, lack of training, feeling grateful just to get to the start line without being hurt. To have not only gotten to the starting line but also to the finish line in one piece with no injury and even beating my last time is joyous. Especially because I didn’t push myself too hard—I took one day off slightly sore and then went running on Tuesday. Back to normal. (Minus the significant chunks of both my middle toes that are missing… hmmmm.)

    In short I am so happy and grateful that I got to have this race experience, and to share it with family and friends, and to stay healthy.

    But this race also frustrated me. Because it showed me a taste of what I COULD do.

    I made some mistakes in this race and had I just went out a little slower, fueled a little better, and most importantly, willed myself along in those last 5 miles I could have easily run a 4:10-4:15 today. But I didn’t. Part of that is physical. But a big part of that was mental. I couldn’t tell you if, in those last five miles, I didn’t have any physical energy left or if I simply didn’t have enough mental energy to care. I remember thinking to myself, “I’m gonna kick myself for these last five miles” during them, but it just wasn’t enough. It made me realize that I need to get healthier and train better and stop selling myself short and I WILL run that 4:10 marathon or someday a 3:59:59. I’m not fast and I never will be, but I CAN get better at this both physically and mentally and SFM showed me a glimpse of that.

    It’s so easy to focus on the shortcomings—why can’t I be one of those people who runs a 4:00 marathon?—instead of the progress. Hey, when I started running in January for reals, my short run pace was 10:30. Now I can do 8:30s. PROGRESS!! And that’s the great thing about running… you’re only truly competing against yourself.

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    Around noon, I met up with a bunch of bloggers and friends at Pier 23. I wasn’t really hungry at this point (I’d felt like throwing up for a good portion of the race, and I NEVER really get nauseous,..) but I got a beer (awesome) and some sweet potato fries. it was great to get to catch up with everyone and hear about different race experiences, and find a bit of comfort in that most EVERYONE hated those last five miles!

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    The day ended with two beautiful things: Ben & Jerrys, and Genki Ramen with Alyssa and Erica. Perfection.

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    Part of me feels like I let myself down in this race by not pushing harder, and then I remember, I went into this race wanting no pushing at all. I came into this race to enjoy it as an experience, to learn, to take it all in, to fall in love with the marathon. And I did. No matter what, there are going to be things we wish we could change—that’s reality. But most importantly, I did it, I finished marathon #2, and I achieved my main goal:

    I had fun.

    Here’s to the next, hopefully faster, marathon and all the FUN to come between now and then!

    xoxo, courtney

    Check out some of my new friends’/running inspirations’ recaps:

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  • Reflections: on half a year of “The Pescatarian Project”

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    Continuing in my reflection theme started earlier this week in my reflections on six months out of Africa… installment parte dois! Running (or lack thereof) and injury update tomorrow. I’m feeling optimistic! Anyways… moving on.

    It’s been half a year since I had a burger. I love burgers.

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    It’s also been half a year since I had a chicken wing, a pig in a blanket, a shawarma, or any of very many delicious things.

    Six months ago today I ate a little slider at my parent’s house and decided that was it… for a while, at least. I dubbed my temporary no-meat existence “The Pescatarian Project.” In that blog post, I detailed why I wanted to cut meat out of my diet post-world-travel, for a variety of reasons, including basing my diet around vegetables and eating healthier overall. I decided to include fish in my diet not just because I couldn’t imagine giving up raw ahi tuna once in a while, but also because I thought it would be less intimidating (and a guaranteed easy source of protein). I committed myself to eating lots of veggies and just in general being health-conscious and awesome.

    It’s been six months. How do I feel?

    First of all, I call myself a vegetarian. Yes, I eat fish sometimes, but for normal life it’s too annoying to non-nutrition-nerds to talk about the particulars of my self-imposed dietary restrictions because let’s be honest, nobody cares. Also, in the last few months, I can count the number of times I’ve eaten fish on one hand and I never really order it or buy it, so it’s become much less relevant.

    So to be completely honest: going vegetarian has NOT changed my life.

    Backing up. There are many good things about being vegetarian. One, a lot of my unhealthy splurge foods are now off-limits. I don’t have the most discriminating tastes  with meat, so in college I would gave pretty easily to Panda Express orange chicken and In-N-Out burgers… and don’t get me started on Chili’s boneless buffalo wings.

    I gravitate towards healthier menu options. I usually don’t order salads when eating out, because they are either complete calorie bombs and generally unhealthy OR they are overpriced and don’t fill you up. I look for veggie entrees or combine side dishes.

    I have also reduced my menu-induced anxiety. (Read: it takes me two hours to pick something to order off a substantial menu. Being veg has not only cut my options and thus my decision time drastically, but has also made me more pleasant of a dining partner.)

    It has made me more aware of my diet and nutrition needs. When I was training for my marathon I frequently mentioned my weird obsession with protein. (Continues.) But in general I am more conscious of my daily balance of what I’m consuming.

    I spend less. Not buying meat or buying meat dishes at restaurants has definitely reduced my expenses, considering. I have learned to cook a lot of easy vegetarian dishes.

    It is freaking easy to be a veggie in SF. Not only are you mainstream and normal, but I can walk into a Sausage Grill and know that I’ll be able to get a tofu dog. Legit.

    I have reduced my environmental impact by a ton (cue Whole-Foods-induced “conscientious shopper” flood-of-pride-slash-moral-superiority HERE).

    But what about the other side?

    I am not convinced that the vegetarian diet is “right” for me. I don’t believe there is a right diet across the board—everyone’s body is different and while there are general nutritional guidelines that apply to everyone, one person might feel great as a vegetarian, another on an Atkins-type diet, another vegan… we’re all different.

    I don’t feel “better” as a vegetarian.

    There are things I really like about it, as mentioned before. When I say “better” I mean purely from a health standpoint. I did not feel more energetic, lighter on my feet, better digestion… any of those things. My hunger didn’t increase a lot either. My body seemed to take vegetarianism in stride, no problem, but wasn’t thrilled and ecstatic either. It was simply a new way of eating and everything else carried on as normal.

    I gained weight, probably. I don’t know—I also was marathon training at the same time that I went veg so I can’t speak to that. I CAN say that carbs are my favorite food group (seriously, I could eat just carbs all day every day and be very happy) and also that I DO lose weight when I cut the carbs. Being veg has definitely made me eat even MORE carbs as many great sources of protein (like beans) also contain a decent amount of carbs. And who wants to eat faux meat products without rice or a bun? Not me, really.

    So after six months, am I healthier? I feel like I’m wired healthier in that way that being a vegetarian creates (basically, you think about nutrition more). But I don’t feel better or look better.

    So now what?

    Here’s an interesting thing about all of this: I don’t miss meat. I haven’t eaten any minus an accidental bite of a chicken burrito (which was SUPPOSED to be curry paneer… thanks for nothing, Curry Up Now!) and I don’t miss it. I am still attracted to the smell of meat—not eating it anymore doesn’t mean that walking by the sizzling bacon-wrapped hot dogs doesn’t intoxicate me! But yet, I don’t really give it a passing thought. It’s more like “oh, that hot dog/chicken wing/pepperoni pizza smells good” and then the thought leaves my head. Whatever.

    In addition to not eating meat, I do believe I have fully shifted to vegetarian mentality. Though I like the smell of some meat, and don’t think it’s wrong to eat meat if it’s done sustainably, I’m just so in the “I don’t eat that!” mentality that I think it would be REALLY hard to take that first bite again. (Especially after I teared up reading Fast Food Nation last week during the part about how they kill the cows…)

    So part of me wants to be a vegetarian forever. The other part of me really wants to seriously pursue my passion of being a food blogger or a restaurant reviewer/food critic/food writer etc etc, and to be honest, vegetarian is a niche and I’d need to eat meat if I wanted to do anything mainstream out from under a vegetarian umbrella. And of course, I’m “missing out” on a lot of really awesome food.

    Conclusions? I really have no idea what the future holds for me and my previously-beloved fried chicken. I know that for now, I’m going to continue down my quasi-vegetarian path, and see how it goes from here. I’m happy where I am, and I know that at any point, the decision to go back is always mine. I’m just not convinced either way.

    Have you ever gone vegetarian/vegan or tried any other significant dietary change? How did you know if it was/wasn’t right for you?

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  • Conquering 26.2: Big Sur Marathon Race Recap

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    Finally… a marathon RACE RECAP! Fasten your seatbelts folks, it’s gonna be a long one.

    I headed down to Monterey for BSIM on Saturday from SF, and headed right to the race expo. This was the first real expo I’d been to… ever. I allowed myself my requisite “it’s my first marathon and I want a sweatshirt” spending spree and came back with a few other goodies as well. Including unlimited FREE BANANAS. And pretty awesome free posters: “Hell and Back: 26.2 miles.” Amen.

    I got to meet Bart Yasso, hear him speak and tell stories, and listened to Jeff Galloway preach the heck out of the run-walk. I figured I’d try it out on some of the hills tomorrow. It was really fun to meet lots of runners and just totally soak in the excitement of the expo and the race that was to come. I was getting pretty keyed up and excited to run the darn race already.

    After wandering Monterey’s waterfront for a little, I was so ready to eat. Despite preaching the values of good pre-race nutrition, I’d had a protein bar and a banana for breakfast, and a clif bar and a banana for lunch. Plus half another banana. I literally bought a boring bread roll while out at Fisherman’s Wharf. Yay for carbs! I felt like I was nervous eating the whole week before the race, too. Literally every aspect of my life seemed to be affected by this race.

    That night, I went to the pasta party which wasn’t the omg-everyone’s-so-excited event that I expected, but it was good, healthy food. I had never even been to a marathon before, so I wanted to experience some of the “traditions” along the way, too.

    I met someone in line who told me I was crazy for doing BSIM for my first marathon. It was funny. When people found out that myself or others were running their first 26.2 at BSIM, it was usually an eyebrow raised, “niiiice… good for you!” (thinking: that person has NO IDEA what is going to happen to them tomorrow). Some people were more blunt: “WHY would you sign up for Big Sur FIRST? It’s the HARDEST! Do you know what you’re getting into?”

    Thanks for the encouragement, everybody.

    A word on the course: BSIM is notoriously tough. It’s famous for a 2.2 mile climb up Hurricane Point, a grueling 4.5%+ grade. (To put it in perspective: Boston’s Heartbreak Hill is the same grade… for 0.37 of a mile). With the course change this year, we lost Hurricane Point at mile 10, but we got the second half, “with over 13 major hills alone.” And we got to run it twice. Both ways. The total feet climbed went from 1,700 to 2,400+.

    Awesome. Bring it on.

    It was good though, to embrace the “it’s your first, just enjoy it and finish” mentality. Regarding time: if I had run a flat course, my goal time would have been 4:45. My “dream” secret goal would have been 4:30 (aka I never would have told anyone that was my goal). But BSIM tells you to add 20+ minutes to your expected marathon time, more if you’re a newb. So my goal was to finish, but my realistic time was about 5 hours 15 minutes. I had the pace band to prove it and fell asleep fitfully waking up every 15 minutes convinced it was time to run.

    Finally a few short hours later it was RACE DAY!


    I thought I scored with a “late” bus ticket but then I realized the difference was 15 minutes (I get to come at 4:15AM instead of 4:00!) so my excitement dimmed. I got dropped off in downtown Monterey, said goodbye to my parents (my dad then took my mom down to Carmel to get her own bus) and hopped onto the school bus.

    I ate my peanut butter and banana sandwich in silence, thinking about what lay ahead. After getting dropped at the staging area, my only reaction was: IT’S COLD. And the race starts more than TWO HOURS from now. Super pathetic. (Apparently the Safeway nearby was open 24 hours and a ton of runners hung out there for warmth. Still bummed I missed THAT memo.)

    The lovely volunteers had hot water (with tea and cocoa packets), coffee, bread, bananas, and a lot of other goodies available to us. I didn’t need food, but I clutched onto my cup of hot water like there was no tomorrow. It was FREEZING. I came prepared with my sweats bag and a variety of clothing options, and before long I was wearing, over my tank top and capris, sweatpants, a running fleece, a zip up hoodie, a thick scarf, and ANOTHER sweatshirt over that. Ridiculous. At 5:15AM I went back for a second cup and was told the water was gone! I prayed to not die of hypothermia before the 6:45 start.

    [all race photos from marathonfoto.com--tell me which ones you like, I'm buying them!]

    Around 6 they started moving us over to the start line. Moving in a tight pack of people was awesome (can you say body heat?) and we all felt a bit better. I relinquished my sweats bag, but remained wearing my running fleece AND my windproof/waterproof jacket… with my circulation (I am often freezing) it was a better-safe-than-sorry call.

    I lined up with my new friend, Kim, about midway through corral B (4:00 to 4:30 marathoners). This is when I started to feel a wee bit guilty as I was in no way intending to run a 4:30 marathon. (Yes, I was one of THOSE people). Honestly, my ‘tude was that I needed every minute of the 6:30 available to me so better gun out ahead.

    Before I knew it, my headphones were in, and corral A was off. Three minutes later, it was go time. I couldn’t believe it. I was running my first marathon! Okay, I was jogging pretty much in place trying to get onto the road to start running, but that’s besides the point.

    The first two miles we had the whole road (all two lanes of it)—it was still pretty crowded but people were pacing themselves slow. And pretty much the first thing we did was run up a hill.

    Welcome to the Big Sur International Marathon.

    I felt like I was running pretty slow, but then I realized I was right in time with the 4:15 pace group. This struck a bit of fear into my heart (as I glance down at my 5:00 pace band) as all the marathon horror stories involve coming out too strong. “It took me as much time to run the last 8 as the first 18.” “He started at 6:30s, I started at 9:30s, I beat him.” Etc. This wasn’t what I wanted. But it felt like a really manageable pace and the leader was fun and chatty and would totally slow the group down going up the hills, so I stuck around.

    She told us that we needed to use 50% of our energy for the first 20 miles, and the other 50% for the last 6.2. To run the first 10 with your head, the second 10 with your legs, and the last 6.2 with your heart. I liked that. The course was full of music and entertainment, which made it fly by even faster.

    I didn’t take pictures because I didn’t want to stop running and I didn’t want my iPhone to die before I finished (I was using it for music and GPS). In fact, I was so nervous of having to crawl the last few miles without music that I carried an “emergency” iPod shuffle in my pocket loaded with my marathon playlist! Ridiculous. But I just kept thinking, “I’m gonna regret this when I do my race recap…” truth. Luckily my mom took a few on her run that I can share :)

    Before I knew it, 8 miles had passed. We were running up and down some relentless hills but I was so keyed up and energetic I didn’t even notice. I don’t think I even really touched my water bottle or opened a GU in those first 8. When I realized I was a third of the way done and hadn’t taken in any fuel, I sucked down a GU and some water and Gatorade between miles 8-9. I fell a tiny bit behind the pace group around mile 10 when the pacer went to the bathroom and those left in charge seemed to get a little excited, but I didn’t mind. I could still see them and besides, my goal was to finish.

    The aid stations were awesome. There were SIXTEEN I think—and there were cute marines standing around at most of them, tons of friendly volunteers, bunch of portapotties, water and Gatorade, sometimes gu and fruit, and they’d fill my water bottle for me from pitchers! Definitely the best organized race… ever.

    I kept looking for my mom, who should have passed me at some point in the middle of my first half. I strained my eyes looking for her, but somehow we missed each other. It was final when I passed the Rocky Point Restaurant, the start of her 10.6 miler, and hadn’t seen her. (Hey, part of me thought maybe she’d wait around and run the 10.6 with me!) But at this point, I started getting even more excited than I already was. Because I knew in 20 or so minutes, at the turnaround at mile 12.3, I would see two of my coworkers/friends who were camping in Big Sur that weekend. The thought of seeing a familiar face (there aren’t really spectators on the course for this marathon) propelled me up… and up… and up several more hills in those last two miles. When I saw them I shrieked for joy (it was even more exciting than the fact that I was turning around and heading for home). One of them told me I looked “euphoric.” He was right. I couldn’t tell you what really happened those first two hours, but I knew I was having some of the most fun I had EVER HAD. It was inexplicable.

    I could see Bixby Bridge from the turnaround—the most famous part of the normal course and it made me a little sad to not be crossing it, but I could always run the marathon again when the road was intact. I continued on and got ready for round 2 of the leg-shredding hills. I could really enjoy the views more coming back—they were scenic heading south, but even more fun heading north. I think I paced about 2:11 for the first half. I could see the 4:15 group, but at this point I started getting really worried about burnout. Mile #13 seemed to take forever, and on mile 14 I started getting some sharp pains in my right hip that worried me. I slowed it down a little. Took another GU at mile 14. And pretty soon the aid stations started handing out fruit, and a couple of orange slices really did the trick.

    The next couple of miles floated by, and then on a steep uphill at 15.75 miles, I decided to take a walk break. Galloway had convinced me. And knowing how crazy the hills were coming back, I knew I couldn’t expect to just run til I died. So I started walking a minute or so whenever I felt like it, which wasn’t often. Never on the downhills. Or the flat. The downhills weren’t as rough as I thought on the knees, so I got really happy when they came up.

    I thought a few walk breaks would slow me down considerably, but at mile 18 I was under 3 hours—less than 10 minutes per mile! I had planned to run 11s WITHOUT hills, so this was pretty exciting! With only 8.2 to go I knew that I was going to finish the race and I was going to finish in under 4:30. I whooped for joy, pretty sure.

    Miles 18-22 were fine. No wall to speak of. I’d walk up some of the most brutal hills, simply unwilling to push myself to the point of no return, and starting to run again (that first stride…) got harder and harder, but never did I feel like I couldn’t run anymore. The pianist (and views!) at mile 19 were great.

    I got nervous around mile 20 expecting to all of a sudden want to die but I was fine—well, as fine as anyone who has just run 20 miles up and down and up and down could be! Then on mile 21, some of the Carmel Highlands residents (population 822) passed out fresh-cut strawberries, which I think was a gift from God above. I felt like I was in heaven.

    I think the first time I got angry was turning into Point Lobos reserve. Basically, with the out and back course, there wasn’t QUITE enough road so we had a slightly less than 2 mile detour into this reserve. Which was absolutely beautiful.

    I didn’t care.

    I had had 22 miles of beautiful already, and turning into the reserve, I could see the “2” mile marker. Meaning I was 2.2 miles from the finish line, but had to take a little detour first. And it was hilly. OMG it was hilly. I don’t know if it was any worse than the rest, but it was here that my legs started protesting. I just felt like I had no energy left to give. I’d only had three GUs and a part of a bottle of Gatorade—less than 450 calories—and I’d burned probably 2,300+ at this point (not counting the hills… crap) so there was no gas in the engine. When I passed the 23 mile marker I didn’t think about my new PDR. I just thought about getting out of that damn reserve.

    Sooner rather than later I was on mile 24. My 23.6 split has been sub-4, and if I had lit a fire under my ass to finish strong, I could have hit 4:19. Maybe with some proper fueling. But no. after walking a little, I was at mile 24 at 4:02. Instead of thinking “hey, only 2.2 miles to go!” I thought “Holy crap, I have 28 minutes to finish in under 4:30, SWEET.” And proceeded to do 12 minute miles for miles 25 and 26. : )

    This is how I knew I didn’t fuel properly. My training was ON. I was strong enough for the race. My muscles were whining, but they didn’t hurt. I never wanted to stop. I wanted to run. But I simply had no energy left to move. I started getting a little lightheaded. I walked a good part of the huge hill at 25, ran down the next hill, and even walked for about a minute at the mile 26 marker. YES, I WALKED AT THE MILE 26 MARKER. See, I’m the most competitive person EVER, so this is how I knew I wasn’t completely lucid at this point. But I knew I’d hit my goal with flying colors. I started to run down the hill to the finish.

    My finishing time was 4:27:51. I smashed my “realistic goal” by 47 minutes and my “dream goal” by two on a tough course. I was so happy!

    Pretty much as soon as I walked into Marathon Village, I lost it. My mom ran up to greet me and my dad was not far behind. I got my food box and I couldn’t eat anything. I wanted to melt into the ground! I walked over and found some dirt and stretched out. I kind of felt like I would never walk again. But kind of in a good way.

    After what felt like an hour of sitting on the floor, I finally regained some strength and ate the peanut butter cookie out of my box. Then all I wanted was a beer. I sent mom to get beers while I pulled off my nasty clothes and changed into stuff from the sweat bag. Sweet success!


    I couldn’t stop smiling despite the pain in my legs, that all seemed to hit right AFTER crossing the finish line (yay for adrenaline suppressing the hurt!).

    I can honestly say that I have NEVER been more proud of myself in my life. I registered for this race last July. I never thought I could do it. It seemed impossible. People run marathons all the time, but I didn’t think it would ever be me. Some people finished hours ahead of me. It doesn’t matter. I was equally proud if not more so. I wanted to jump up and down (even though that would have been physically impossible).

    Big Sur taught me so much, more than I could ever contain in one already-4-pages-before-pictures blog post. I wish I could just express how emotional I am about this race even here two days later.

    Marathon training taught me that no goal is too big.

    It taught me that nothing is impossible.

    It taught me that hard work and sacrifices DO pay off.

    It taught me that one person’s molehill may be another’s mountain, and that’s okay.

    It taught me that food is FUEL and should be used as a gift to nourish and strengthen your body, not a weapon to be wielded.

    It taught me that I am strong, I am capable.

    It taught me that when you step up to the starting line of a marathon, you’ve done everything you can do to prepare. It’s not about the race—it’s about validating what you did to get there.

    It taught me that no matter what I say, no matter what I claim, no matter how slow I waddle, that I sell myself short, but no longer. I am a RUNNER, and I am stronger than I think.

    I may not be fast,

    I may not be furious,

    I may not be anything special,

    But I did something special to ME, and this was the biggest gift that Big Sur ever could have given me.

    I’m finally in the club. See you next year.

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  • The Pescatarian Project

    pescatarian1

    First of all, Happy New Years Eve!

    What is everyone doing to celebrate? I’m heading to Los Angeles today to reconnect with some of my closest friends for the first time since I have been back from Africa (only one week!) which should be great.

    I’m still blogging sporadically because despite being home in California, my computer is in San Jose, but I get to pick it up on Tuesday so from there on out maybe I will blog like a real blogger for once. Okay, probably not.

    I’d love to do a post reflecting on 2010it was indeed a VERY crazy year for me–and on the goals I had set for myself at this time last year, but it’s not going to happen now. (Ironically I am still completely on Africa time–what’s a week or two ate so long as it gets done?…) Really quick before I jet out I wanted to post about my New Years Resolution for 2011.

    I have a love/hate relationship with resolutions. I do like the idea of sitting down and making a goal for the next year–sort of a fresh start–but they are often forgotten come February. Sometimes it’s because we are too ambitious. If I were to honestly list my resolutions for just the first few months of 2011, it would look something like: get a good job, save lots of money, lose weight, get into kick-ass shape, run a half marathon and a full marathon, become a zumba instructor, find weekly Portuguese tutoring, ace the Economics class that I have to take, learn how to manage money, make my blog awesome, make new friends, sell hundreds of old things on eBay, write a ton, get into grad school, apply for and receive financial aid and scholarships, decide what I want to do with my life.

    No wonder I am iffy about making resolutions.

    In fact, my most successful resolution year ever was 2009 when I declared on my old blog that I was “simplifying” and that my resolutions were to:

    1. Wear sunscreen.
    2. Drink more water.
    3. Stand up straighter.

    Okay, my posture still blows, but I now wear sunscreen religiously and drink a ton of water (usually). Those were EASY and simple life changes that my “resolution” focused on and helped me achieve. (Standing up straighter and flossing daily, however, continue to be out of my reach. Someday.)


    This year, my “Resolution” or major goal might be a little bit more difficult: follow a pescatarian diet.

    For anyone reading this blog who is unfamiliar with pescatarianism, it is essentially a vegetarian diet with fish added.

    Let me say this: I love meat. And I recognize its importance and viability as part of a healthy diet. Chicken wings, hamburgers, corn dogs… I salivate just at the words. So more important question: why am I trying this?

    I am not morally opposed to the idea of meat eating in general. I think it IS possible to eat meat responsibly and with a social conscience. However, I think that the meat industry in America is consistently making that more difficult, with unethical practices, growth hormones, and more. While meat options exist that come from humane, sustainable, and local operations, it can be very expensive to eat only local, free-range, organic meat and buying that is not an option for me right now.

    [source]

    In the Western diet, it is all too easy to make meat the center of any meal. All too often, vegetables and whole grains are completely excluded. It is no secret that Americans eat a LOT of meat–way too much--much more than we were intended to eat, and we pay for this with a variety of health problems.I am learning to live and  cook for myself in America for the first time this year, and I believe that not eating meat will help me to achieve what is my ultimate goal of the project: adapting a diet that is firmly rooted in vegetables (haha) instead of meat. That way if/when I add more meat back in later it can be as a compliment to vegetables (as it should be) instead of the main event. I think otherwise it would be all too easy to rely on a meat and carb based diet which I have eaten before and have not “felt good” on.

    Eating much less (okay, no) meat will greatly reduce my environmental impact.

    Following a vegetarian-plus-fish diet opens my eyes to the healthy, veggie options (or lack thereof) at restaurants and stores and is already training me to focus on produce and finding interesting vegetable options. (And on a lighter note, I am the most indecisive person ever when it comes to ordering food at restaurants, and eating mostly vegetarian makes ordering WAY easier. Unforeseen bonus!)

    After Africa, I realized that I was eating way too much meat before I left the States (the idea of cooking “meatless mondays” even intimidated me!) and I really wanted to take on the challenge to try living without it and see how I feel.

    [source]

    But why pescatarian?

    It is a fact that vegetarians do NOT eat fish and that pescatarianism is a different diet. I decided to try this instead of cutting out ALL animal flesh (ew) completely for a few different reasons.

    For many people including fish smoothes the transition between eating meat and vegetarianism. I don’t know if I am going to go fully vegetarian this year but it is a lot easier to conceptualize not eating red meat or fowl when I have fish as an option at restaurants (instead of just pasta with red sauce). It also provides a good source of protein, iron, omega-3s, and Vitamin D, among other things.  It IS possible to get an adequate intake of all those nutrients on a vegetarian diet; however, including fish from time to time will make it much easier.

    Also, I am training for a marathon starting in 2 weeks. Going fully veg and having to figure out how to get adequate protein from different sources at the same time that my physical activity pretty much triples could be bad.

    So those are the basic reasons.

    Plus, sushi is my favorite food. There, the truth comes out.


    I wanted to do this provisionally for a month (so it wasn’t super intimidating) but really it was an indefinite goal, hopefully for a year. (The only caveat is unless I move short-term to a developing country, where I am not passionate about this to settle for eating plain rice or bread for weeks.) After that I plan to slowly add meat back into my diet but minimally.

    So basically, my resolution is to eat vegetables, vegetables and more vegetables.

    This is my personal choice and like I said, I do like eating meat and do think it can be done responsibly and be a really crucial part of a very healthy diet. This is just something I have wanted to do for a while just for me, to try it out and see where it goes from there. It might be my most lifestyle-altering resolution yet… perhaps I should go back to standing up straighter.

    Happy New Year, everybody!

    What are your resolutions?


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  • “Estás a engordar,” or, body image in the Moz

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    No pretty pictures of scenery or food in this post. My blog is a bit all over the place: I created it as a healthy living & travel blog, but my life is distinctively shaped by the realities that I am a Peace Corps Volunteer in Mozambique, and there are things I want to write about. Sometimes I wonder if the things I post about are what people want to read—not enough food, not enough pretty pictures, not enough X or Y, etc. But then I remember that I want this blog to reflect ME, and so it will continue being a little sporadic. Here goes. 

    The other day, I led a training for about 30 of my Mozambican coworkers. I was in front of the group for most of the time, and I wore a new dress, made from local materials. I thought it was pretty, and I felt good in it.

    “Estás a engordar.” Literally translated, “You are getting fat.”

    More on this in a moment. The next day, a colleague and friend told me point-blank that the dress made me look big, and that “all the colleagues were asking me if you are pregnant.”

    Mortifying.

    Granted, I have gained a couple pounds in the last weeks. STRESS, not eating super well, not running (I am injured)… it happens. These things come and go. And I of course notice, but want to pretend that it is all going to be okay.

    But apparently everyone thinks I am pregnant. “Should I never wear this dress again?”, I wonder.

    Let me back up. Here in Mozambique, “estás a engordar” is a complement. Literally, you could have lost a couple of pounds but look healthy and some smiling friendly neighbor might walk up and tell you how fat you look.

    After two years I still am unable to completely shrug this off. (At least I don’t cry every time anymore. Kidding.) In my culture, this is a horrible thing to THINK about someone, much less SAY, much less if they look FINE! How DARE you say this to me?!

    But then I step back. In Mozambique, “fat” means healthy. “Fat” means rich. “Fat” means happy. Thousands of people are starving. Thousands more go to sleep each night not being sure where their next meal will come from, or when it will happen.

    “Fat” means you have food to eat.

    People are poor. The average income in most rural sites is less than a dollar a day. Every spare cent is scraped together to buy food or to send the children to school. Often, it is not enough.

    “Fat” means you have money to take care of yourself and your family.

    HIV and AIDS and chronic malnutrition are all widespread in Mozambique. People get skinny, emaciated, fraca (weak). To be magra is to be sick, to be not able to take care of yourself.

    “Fat” means you are healthy.

    We shape our body image around our societies’ ideals of beauty. For us, too often this is skinny supermodels or people who seem to champion the anorexic look. (Mozambicans would flip.) It is refreshing in a way to see how many of those ideas of perfection are shaped by our cultures and that there IS NO one ideal of beauty or best body type.

    Because of my culture, I will never COMPLETELY take it as a compliment when someone tells me I am fat, but I can recognize the differences. And while we are often very careful about how we describe people for fear of offence, Mozambique is not like that. Calling someone “the fat short white girl” or “the really dark skinned tall guy” is just matter-of-fact. Okay. I can deal with this.

    Part of me enjoys the bluntness and what I see as universal acceptance of body types. Okay, if you are skinny maybe you want to get a little bigger, but if you’re a little chunky, or maybe a LOT chunky, you OWN it. You love your body, and you know you look GOOD. I love that easy confidence that Mozambican women seem to have, and envy it.

    But at that same meeting, something else significant happened. We were talking about stigma, and I asked my colleagues to draw a picture representing a time in their lives when they felt isolated, rejected, or different. And one of my (presumably female) colleagues submitted this.

    This was a complete eye-opener for me. I sit here all at once resenting Mozambicans´ attitude towards bodies (stop calling me fat!) and envying it (none of you worry, why should I!) and then it made me realize that no matter what confidence we portray, women everywhere feel judged because of their bodies. Diferente.

    I recognize now that body image issues exist in every culture, regardless of what the ideal of beauty may be. But what I have learned is that “fat” and “different” and “pretty” are just words. What matters is what is on the inside, and how you feel about yourself. And THAT shows more than anything else… whether or not everybody thinks you may be pregnant. And I have Mozambique to thank for finally helping me realize that.

    Speaking of self-image, Tina over at Faith, Fitness, Fun is doing an amazing online initiative called “30 Days of Self Love and Reflection” which aims to, according to Tina, ”help us all learn to love ourselves more and to uplift one another in the process. To begin to realize our true beauty and value. To battle the inner dialogue that strives to bring us down.” If anyone is reading my blog who hasn´t gotten into this yet (highly doubtful!!! Or probably impossible…) please check it out, it is a really amazing thing.

    Being here and experiencing moments like the one  mentioned here give me reason to reflect on how I feel about myself and to recognize how those inner feelings affect every area of my life. I hope we can all take a moment today, whether through the 30 DSLR or on your own, to find something you love about yourself, whatever your society may say.

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