Last night, nothing happened and everything did.
I had just sat down with my laptop around 8PM to do a little productive work on the 1st of the year to get it started off right, after quite the lazy day. Only minutes afterward I heard a woman screaming outside, in a bone-chilling way, and the sirens of police cars. Mind you, I live in a cute house on a hill in San Francisco, this doesn’t usually happen right here. I called my neighbor to see what was going on and that’s when the fire trucks came. Several. The street was rapidly filling with red and white lights and that’s when I went outside and saw the smoke billowing from the house three doors down.
Initial reaction was slight panic. It’d be fine, right? Firefighters do this stuff every day. I was outside and then I went back into my apartment with the door still open. Then the commotion around grew louder and people start streaming out of their houses. A policewoman banged on the door and said words I’d never heard in this context – “we need you to get out.”
I grabbed the duffel bag in front of me and it was like the world stopped. There I was standing in the middle of my apartment as chaos was erupting in the streets and I was focused, in that millisecond, on the age-old question: what do I take with me?
I threw in my computers, phone charger, purse, passport, and camera. Luckily I keep all those things together, but more intentionally for an earthquake—not this. Then I grabbed a pair of jeans and my makeup “for work tomorrow.” Irrational, but in that millisecond, it was what I thought about. At this point, 15 seconds have passed at most and I found myself in the middle of the room heading out. What do I take? I grabbed my three full marathon medals off the wall, my journal, and a framed photo of me with great friends that was in arms reach. I took one glance around and had only one coherent thought: I would be okay without these things. Then I closed my door and walked out. (Don’t worry—I took these below pictures well after the fact. No photos happened until after I realized things would be okay)
When we were told to evacuate, I was not in imminent physical danger. The fire had not spread to my house. But fires have been running rampant over The City, and when I closed my door, I didn’t know if I’d see my belongings again. Two doors down isn’t much when you’re in old Edwardians. (Below stunning photo by Pete Briones who got some shocking shots of the fire)
When I was out, the flames were licking the sky, two structures fully ablaze. We were pushed all the way up to the street corner as more and more fire trucks and emergency personnel arrived. At one point, the wind picked up slightly and the embers from the flames were falling on the roof of my building. In that moment, I was waiting for what seemed to be inevitable. In that moment I was feeling three somewhat discordant things simultaneously:
- Wow, I’m an idiot for not getting renter’s insurance, and that tab has been open on my laptop for a full week. Guess I’ll be the poster child for all my friends to get it.
- Man, it would really suck to lose everything.
- If this happens, everything is going to be okay.
The last one was a bit weird but sitting out there, with neighbors wondering if our house would go up in flames, I lost the utter anxiety that had overwhelmed me and realized that I might lose everything but I would bounce right back. I was tweeting during the fire and the outpouring of love and support I received was amazing and left me at peace—realizing that even if I lost everything I owned, and it was my fault because I live in an old house with no insurance, I had people that loved me and that’s what mattered.
And then all of a sudden the fire was contained.
Three buildings are heavily damaged. I don’t know the residents of those units personally, but my heart goes out to them. I can’t imagine what they’re going through right now and I wish them peace and an outpouring of love. In the end, everyone was okay. Praise the Lord.
Once I realized the place I lived wasn’t going to go up in flames the adrenaline crash left me queasy and feeling like I was watching a movie instead of living it. After what seemed like hours of sitting outside watching the madness unfold, we were led back to our unit by a cop under “shelter in place” conditions (aka stay inside or talk to the firefighters outside if anything is wrong). The fire ladder was still on the roof, but somehow we were okay. When I walked into my apartment and things were as they’d been, I was shocked. In that time, I had gone through shock and anger and then acceptance that I might be homeless. To walk in hours later and for the place to look untouched—it was insane.
I feel so incredibly blessed today. If there had just be a little more wind, or had the SFFD been just slightly slower, I could be writing a very, very different blog post today. My thoughts are with my neighbors who suffered losses last night. I truly feel an outpouring of gratefulness for so many things—the San Francisco Fire Department, the rare still night, friends who offered support if things had gone otherwise, for this building that I adore so much to still be standing. Grateful for the moments that take you out of your trivial problems and make you realize what really does matter. People, not things.
Here I am, writing this blog post, in my intact apartment, just one day later. Nothing happened—but yet everything did.
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A crazy & wonderful post.
Alyssa recently posted..Race Recap: NYE Dash (Almost) 5k
So glad your house is safe and that no one was harmed, even in the damaged buildings. Fire is a terrifying and powerful thing, and very easy to forget about until you’re staring at flames.
Summer recently posted..Finally using protection + SSS
Well written for sure! So glad you and your house were spared. I know exactly the feelings you mention about what to take, what to leave as we have had to evacuate twice for fires.
KymberlyFunFit recently posted..Push-ups for Patriots
So, so, so scary. I lived in an apartment for five years and I was always baffled that there was never a fire- so many people, so many appliances, so many college kids smoking pot… They made us show proof of renter’s insurance, which I hated to pay for but was glad I was forced to have (you bought some today right???). Very glad you’re okay and your things survived (I know we’re not supposed to form material attachments to “stuff,” but gimme a break- I’d be devastated).
Christine @ BookishlyB recently posted..Top Ten Tuesday- 2012, The Year of the Book
I am so happy to hear that you and your apartment are okay!
Grace recently posted..Here’s to You 2011
Scary! Glad you are okay!
When I was in high school, our neighbors house caught on fire and we had to evacuate. I remember making sure our dog was with us and grabbing a few photo albums. It was super emotional, not knowing whether or not our house would be okay. Luckily, there was no damage to our house….it just had that smokey smell for a few days!
Maureen recently posted..Hello 2012!
how scary! a house fire is definitely my biggest fear, even though it’s all just “stuff.” for me now, it’s much more than that because of our cat and our memories. but i’m glad you’re safe! i hope you have renters insurance now!!
Wow. I’m glad everything worked out and you and your apartment are ok. I have a drawer with all my “take in case of emergency” since well, earthquake country leaves you that way.
Melissa @TryingtoHeal recently posted..Comment on New Year: Birthdays, Cakes and Japanese Food! by Erica
Oh my word! Thank goodness you’re okay. Yeah… it’s good your stuff’s okay too. That would be so mind-blowing; I can hardly comprehend it.
Tiff recently posted..Brews n’ Shakes
Thinking about you girl! Thank goodness you are ok. How unbelieveably scary – it really puts things in perspective.
So hard to imagine!
The Healthy Hostess recently posted..Resolutions
So glad you’re safe & not homeless. We got an SF Alert about the fire right before I saw your FB post. That was a little bit insane. Huzzah for SFFD!
Angela @ SF Road Warrior recently posted..2012: Lookin’ Forward….
Glad no one was seriously hurt. I had a safety scare recently on my street and in my neighborhood. It’s weird to come back from a run and realize you can’t walk to your apartment because the street is blocked off by LAPD.
Anyway, here’s to a 2012 free of any more of these types of moments.
omgoodness, Courtney!! I’m so glad you’re OK! That must have been so incredibly scary.
I couldn’t believe it when I saw your tweets the other night. So so so scary. I’m SO glad you and all your things are OK! I know a few people who have lost their homes to fires and it is the most tragic thing.
Amber from Girl with the Red Hair recently posted..How yoga changed my life in 2011
I’m so happy to hear you are okay! That is SO scary!
Glad you are safe! What a night! I am also glad the folks in the three homes are all physically OK.
Jamie recently posted..Arts and Sciences 5K
I am so greatful that the story unfolded the way it did. I heart you. xo-Rad
Erica “Rad Runner” recently posted..It’s already so sweet!
oh my gosh. that is terrifying! i have no idea what i would have grabbed.
I’m so glad that you are safe. I was cracking up at the things you grabbed your marathon medals.
I’m so glad you and your apartment came out unscathed! I had an old boyfriend who lost everything in a house fire back in college. He said that losing everything and starting over was sort of freeing in a way…but I’d rather not have to find out! Glad you don’t either.
Hugs!
Melissa @ Journey to Marvelous recently posted..I’m baaaaaaaaaack!
I’m so glad you are okay
Terrifying.
Kathryn @ Flopoodle recently posted..Make It A Double
Wow, crazy. I saw the story on the news about that fire (it was in Alamo Square area right?) and immediately thought that potentially some people that I knew might be affected by that fire since some of my friends live in that area. Glad that your apartment is okay, the fire sounded massive when they talked about it on the news. That must have been surreal watching the fire from the street.
I don’t have a “take bag if a fire happens”, but maybe I should make one up or something. I guess I have no idea what I would put in there.
I would definitely get renters insurance – I’ve learned that with insurance the best thing is to have it and never need to use it. Because if you don’t have it and something happens then that can be really costly.
Nelly recently posted..2011 in review, 2012 goals
How scary! So glad everything turned out ok for you in the end. We have home owners insurance, but this reminds me that I’ve been meaning to get a better fire safe for our important documents.
Get tho insurance. It’s not that expensive for the peace of mind it gives.
MCM Mama recently posted..Handing over my "Tough Chik" card
That is such a scary idea to actually have to decide what to take with you! You are so very correct that the material things don’t matter and that you’d be OK without them, but it doesn’t make it any easier. I have no idea what I’d take with me, which also freaks me out. I’m so glad you’re OK, and if, god forbid, you ever find yourself homeless, call me. I will come get you and house you for as long as you need.
Layla recently posted..Texas Marathon race report
The pictures are incredible, my dear. So glad you and your house are okay! Fires are scary things! xoxo
Brittany @ LessBritt MoreLife recently posted..Mardi Gras Season
Courtney I am glad you are OK! It’s an intense experience but while you are going through it AND the time thereafter really gets you thinking about you and your life.
Katie@Real Food Katie’s Way recently posted..It’s Been One Week
How FRIGHTENING! I am glad you are ok!