
So I blog under the guise of “healthy living.” Regardless of how healthy my behaviors are, this is the blog community I belong to. I blog about running, training, eating, body image, life musings, and stuff like that. When I sat down tonight to blog about Vegas, I realized that it was not going to fit into ANY remotely “healthy living blog” type of post (“Everyone went for pancakes but I brought my own steel cut oats in my freezer bag all the way from home with my organic bananas!”) so I present you with a play-by-play of how to ABSOLUTELY NOT have a healthy time in the city of sin.
Friday, May 27th
10:00AM—2:00PM: Struggle to get any work done while consumed with anticipation.
2:30—2:45PM: Swear to myself I am not getting drunk in Vegas. Friends arrive.
3:15PM: Pound Gin & Tonic before getting on plane.
3:45PM: Buzz sets in. Look around in wonder at Virgin America’s “mood lighting” and sexy boarding music.
3:55PM: Plane takes off. Have to pee already. Don’t want to disturb cute older couple sitting next to me watching tv. Distract myself with seat-to-seat chat with my four friends scattered around the plane.
5:20PM: Land Vegas. Crave Frappuccino. Wait in taxi line; swear to friend I am NOT drinking Fat Tuesday’s this year.
6PM: Drop stuff off at swanky Palazzo suite. Encounter a variety of drunk friends and find out we’ve already received a noise complaint.
6:45PM: Buy Fat Tuesday’s.
7:30PM: Watch Bellagio fountains (my favorite place in the world). See “Con Te Partiro” (my favorite show). Is amazing. Wait fifteen minutes for the next show. Which turns into 30. Then they play the same song over.
8:30PM: head to Chipotle with drunken group for a relatively healthy dinner. Abandon long line to buy piece of (actually very good, not greasy) pizza instead.
9:00PM: Pre-party in suites. Pre-party turns into actual party.
10:00PM: Actual party makes it downstairs to casino floor.
11:00PM: Go into Lavo restaurant to dance. Realize that I cannot actually feel my feet and that the stilettos are making it impossible to actually even move.
2:00AM: Head back to room barefoot. Pass group of friends headed out to gamble. Cannot walk another second after walking around in heels for a few hours. Give myself HUGE puffy blisters on the balls of both feet (pretty much the only area left where I DIDN’T have blisters yet).
2:30AM: Drown sorrows, pre-hangover and stinging feet in pub mix.
3:15AM: Curl up on couch. There are no extra blankets, so I wrap a tiny towel around half of my legs and try to keep warm. It doesn’t work.
3:30AM: Sleep. Interrupted every 15-30 minutes by waking up shivering and with a headache.
Saturday, May 28th
7:30AM: Wake up to jarring alarm. Make it over to suitcase to grab running clothes before I realize my head is pounding and spinning, my mouth is dry, and EVERYTHING hurts. Recognize that running 14 miles is probably not going to happen.
8:00AM: get out of bed suffering from extreme guilt from not running. Who has hangovers anymore? Nurse hangover in shower. Attempt to drink water.
9:00AM: Crave Frappuccino.
10:00AM: Head to pool to soak up potentially very dangerous UV rays. Succeed in burning only the area under both armpits and also my cleavage, with everything else staying pasty white.
11:00AM: Wonder why Palazzo strategically placed their pool in a place that’s pretty much shaded by the hotel for several hours of the day.
12:30PM: Realize in Venetian food court that being a vegetarian in SF is way easier than in the LV. Settle for portabella sandwich. Crave Frappuccino.
2:00PM: Wander strip with one of my best friends. Go shopping. Kind of.
2:30PM: Finally buy Frappuccino. Debate going balls out (regular + whip) or “healthy” (Light, no whip). Go for light + “smaller dollop” of whip. Consider it success.
4:00PM: Watch hundreds of UCLA students perform 8-clap. Chip in halfheartedly as I no longer know anybody. Mourn my youth.
4:40PM: Stop for snack. Think about how bad I need veggies or fruit. Think about how I never drink soda. Buy soda and cookies instead.
6:30PM: Return once again to food court. Settle for greasy Asian food this time. SWEAR I will eat a real, decent meal at some point in Vegas.
8:00PM: Attempt to get dolled up. Bounce around to make sure that leopard print strapless dress does not fall off.
9:00PM: Preparty again. Drink only one glass of champagne. Feel proud that I no longer feel the need to drink. Vow to not wake up hungover, so I can run. Yay.
10:00PM: Leave to go to hot dance club that we might somehow get into. Almost tear up because due to my blistered feet I’m wearing flats surrounded by hot girls in 4-inch heels and I feel ugly.
10:45PM: Have been on my feet for 45 minutes outside the club. Now very happy that I wore flats. Abandon club plan and hail cab to New York New York.
11:00PM—2:00AM: Dance up a storm at Nine Fine Irishmen (THE BEST PUB IN VEGAS).
11:30PM: Take first (and last) irish car bomb. Have issue with any alcoholic beverage that you have to “chug before it curdles.”
12:00AM: Making up words to all the classic irish songs being played by the live band. Step on lots of people’s toes.
2:00AM: Abandon Nine Fine in search for another $5 piece of pizza.
2:45AM: Take taxi back to hotel.
3:00AM: chow down on more pub mix because I “have to run tomorrow.”
3:40AM: Head to bed, extremely proud that I will not wake up hungover.
Sunday, May 29th
7:30AM: wake up hungover.
7:45AM: Don running clothes. Actually make it outside (GASP!). Intend on running 11-13 miles.
8:40AM: Have run to Stratosphere (2 miles) in 18 minutes super easy. Feel smug that on a flat course (nothing I’m used to in SF) that I can run a 9-minute-mile as a super easy pace.
8:41AM: eat words when I turn around into a howling wind that leaves me unable to hear the music on my iPod or run any quicker than a SLOW walk.
9:30AM: Have hit UNLV campus. 7 miles.
9:35AM: Recognize that I’m hungry, out of water, being blown over, and that there’s no way I’m going to run another 7 miles this morning. Quit at 8.5 miles and resolve to “run 14 tomorrow.”
11:00AM: After getting up early to celebrate fitness, end up taking cab back the half-mile to my hotel because “it’s far” (and cold).
12:30PM: nearly pass out while wandering strip after running/walking >10miles that morning on some gu and a luna bar.
2:00PM: somehow end up at the SAME DAMN VENETIAN FOOD COURT. Realize that one of my few goals for vegas (as I am a foodie and no longer a boozer) was to go to champagne brunch and/or Serendipity and that I’ve actually just been eating fast food the whole weekend.
3:00PM: go gamble the penny slots. Win three dollars. Get really excited.
4:45PM: meet current UCLA tourguides for sh*tshow dinner. All you can drink table wine (which just tastes like vinegar), amazing garlic bread, and otherwise crappy food.
5:00—7:00PM: good times with good people. Eat weight in garlic bread.
8:00PM: Pre-party at Club Flush. AKA one of our Palazzo suites.
10:00PM: head to Jet nightclub.
10:30PM: realize that once again we aren’t actually going to get into the club. Blink and somehow I’ve ended up at King Ink Tattoo Parlor and Lounge. And that there’s an open bar.
12:00AM: dance on stage.
12:30AM: Abandon King Ink to go home alone.
1:00AM: Buy “second dinner” or “first breakfast” of a hot chocolate and stale bear claw at Coffee Bean.
2:30AM: Sleep. Still on couch. Now have blankets.
Monday, May 30th
7:30AM: Wake up. Pack bag.
9:00AM: Head to airport. Very happy to not be hungover. Swear no more fast food. End up buying TCBY and a soft pretzel at the airport.
12:45PM: Land at SFO. Tell myself I need to run when I get home.
2:00PM: get home. Make filling pre-run breakfast.
4:00PM: pass out during my second episode of Sex and the City.
And there you have it, my friends. Welcome to my life in Vegas. Please don’t do anything that I did. Somehow, despite barely drinking days 2 and 3 and even walking a lot and exercising, I managed to be as unhealthy as possible. Here’s to blogger honesty. What happens in Vegas, goes on pancakesandpostcards.com apparently.
I hereby recommend that the next healthy living blogger’s conference happens in Vegas. Because Lord knows. someone could teach me a thing or two!
Until next time, LV…
Have you ever been to Vegas? Do you ever let loose on vaycay?
















































































































































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