No pretty pictures of scenery or food in this post. My blog is a bit all over the place: I created it as a healthy living & travel blog, but my life is distinctively shaped by the realities that I am a Peace Corps Volunteer in Mozambique, and there are things I want to write about. Sometimes I wonder if the things I post about are what people want to read—not enough food, not enough pretty pictures, not enough X or Y, etc. But then I remember that I want this blog to reflect ME, and so it will continue being a little sporadic. Here goes.
The other day, I led a training for about 30 of my Mozambican coworkers. I was in front of the group for most of the time, and I wore a new dress, made from local materials. I thought it was pretty, and I felt good in it.
“Estás a engordar.” Literally translated, “You are getting fat.”
More on this in a moment. The next day, a colleague and friend told me point-blank that the dress made me look big, and that “all the colleagues were asking me if you are pregnant.”
Mortifying.
Granted, I have gained a couple pounds in the last weeks. STRESS, not eating super well, not running (I am injured)… it happens. These things come and go. And I of course notice, but want to pretend that it is all going to be okay.
But apparently everyone thinks I am pregnant. “Should I never wear this dress again?”, I wonder.
Let me back up. Here in Mozambique, “estás a engordar” is a complement. Literally, you could have lost a couple of pounds but look healthy and some smiling friendly neighbor might walk up and tell you how fat you look.
After two years I still am unable to completely shrug this off. (At least I don’t cry every time anymore. Kidding.) In my culture, this is a horrible thing to THINK about someone, much less SAY, much less if they look FINE! How DARE you say this to me?!
But then I step back. In Mozambique, “fat” means healthy. “Fat” means rich. “Fat” means happy. Thousands of people are starving. Thousands more go to sleep each night not being sure where their next meal will come from, or when it will happen.
“Fat” means you have food to eat.
People are poor. The average income in most rural sites is less than a dollar a day. Every spare cent is scraped together to buy food or to send the children to school. Often, it is not enough.
“Fat” means you have money to take care of yourself and your family.
HIV and AIDS and chronic malnutrition are all widespread in Mozambique. People get skinny, emaciated, fraca (weak). To be magra is to be sick, to be not able to take care of yourself.
“Fat” means you are healthy.
We shape our body image around our societies’ ideals of beauty. For us, too often this is skinny supermodels or people who seem to champion the anorexic look. (Mozambicans would flip.) It is refreshing in a way to see how many of those ideas of perfection are shaped by our cultures and that there IS NO one ideal of beauty or best body type.
Because of my culture, I will never COMPLETELY take it as a compliment when someone tells me I am fat, but I can recognize the differences. And while we are often very careful about how we describe people for fear of offence, Mozambique is not like that. Calling someone “the fat short white girl” or “the really dark skinned tall guy” is just matter-of-fact. Okay. I can deal with this.
Part of me enjoys the bluntness and what I see as universal acceptance of body types. Okay, if you are skinny maybe you want to get a little bigger, but if you’re a little chunky, or maybe a LOT chunky, you OWN it. You love your body, and you know you look GOOD. I love that easy confidence that Mozambican women seem to have, and envy it.
But at that same meeting, something else significant happened. We were talking about stigma, and I asked my colleagues to draw a picture representing a time in their lives when they felt isolated, rejected, or different. And one of my (presumably female) colleagues submitted this.
This was a complete eye-opener for me. I sit here all at once resenting Mozambicans´ attitude towards bodies (stop calling me fat!) and envying it (none of you worry, why should I!) and then it made me realize that no matter what confidence we portray, women everywhere feel judged because of their bodies. Diferente.
I recognize now that body image issues exist in every culture, regardless of what the ideal of beauty may be. But what I have learned is that “fat” and “different” and “pretty” are just words. What matters is what is on the inside, and how you feel about yourself. And THAT shows more than anything else… whether or not everybody thinks you may be pregnant. And I have Mozambique to thank for finally helping me realize that.
Speaking of self-image, Tina over at Faith, Fitness, Fun is doing an amazing online initiative called “30 Days of Self Love and Reflection” which aims to, according to Tina, ”help us all learn to love ourselves more and to uplift one another in the process. To begin to realize our true beauty and value. To battle the inner dialogue that strives to bring us down.” If anyone is reading my blog who hasn´t gotten into this yet (highly doubtful!!! Or probably impossible…) please check it out, it is a really amazing thing.
Being here and experiencing moments like the one mentioned here give me reason to reflect on how I feel about myself and to recognize how those inner feelings affect every area of my life. I hope we can all take a moment today, whether through the 30 DSLR or on your own, to find something you love about yourself, whatever your society may say.
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LOVED this great perspective. And I really like how you said they just own it. We all need to do that! This makes me realize just how much I need to get out there in the world. Thanks for the study abroad encouragement!!
no problem, i hope you go and i cannot wait to hear about your adventures!!!
This is a very interesting post. How interesting it is considered a compliment to call one another fat in their culture, but it makes sense. At first I was like :-O omg I can’t believe they said that, but once you explained it it made more sense!
I think you’re right, women all over the world have body image issues or some kind or another.
Really enjoyed this post. Personal, informative, and thought-provoking. Miss you Court!
miss you too!!! december!
wow what a different outlook from what we’re used to. at first i felt really bad that you were being called out and noticed for your body and i couldnt help but think “wow people over there sure notice eachother figures, to the point they can visually see if someone has gained or not” but as i read further i realized that they WANT to see more weight on women which is their way of saying “your getting more gorgeous” its just twisted in a way thats different from north america. i would have been mortified at first too… but who wouldnt right!? its pretty mind blowing to think about how the same comment said between 2 different cultures can have polar opposite meanings!!
XOXO
It is super interesting to see how other cultures see beauty and bodies. You are healthy and beautiful – in any country. That dress is super cute. Own it.
Court – great post. I’m putting it up outside of my office (Women’s Center) – really good perspective on what looking healthy means, and also interesting to see that regardless of what it means, people across all borders still suffer from feeling bad about how they look. Too sad.
great perspective! thanks for sharing. i was always told i was too skinny when i was in africa so i completely understand. well, maybe not completely because you’ve been there much longer than i was there but i know what it’s like and it definitely is an adjustment!
I loved this post and the message, Courtney. I’m going to OWN it! Thanks for posting it and will check out the other posts you mentioned.
I am so glad you left a post on my blog the other day because I have so enjoyed reading yours!!
I contemplated following the same career path as you. I went to the recruiting session and thought long and hard about what life would be like if I was accepted into the program. And I could not do it. I admire your strength and resolve to just walk away from everyone and every comfort you have know to selflessly help others.
Despite the fact that you have the same struggles as I when it comes to what to do next, I believe everything happens for a reason and that you are making a difference there.
Oh and I suppose to leave a little thought about the subject of your post. I love the way people in different cultures speak with such bluntness about body image. Regardless of if that woman felt different about her body or not, she still owned the fact that she felt uncomfortable, as did you. A lot of people can’t even admit that!
Stay safe over there!!!
~Jenn
Holy cow what a fabulous post!!! I’m definitely linking it in today’s 30 Days post and first in the list. I seriously love what you wrote here. It’s crazy that what’s “pretty” can be viewed so differently in so many places which PROVES its just a word, yet women everywhere still face body image issues.
What a great post! I hope each of us will learn to love ourselves, no matter how we look. Thanks for sharing!
I loved reading this! Its so interesting to look at the differences in culture & perspectives on what’s healthy (or the fact that they say things bluntly to you). But you’re right- there are going to be confidence/image issues in every culture.
“fat and pretty are just words…it’s about how YOU feel about yourself” <– I couldn't have said it better myself
What an eye-opening post! I am glad to have found your blog
Such a beautiful post! How interesting it is that “beauty” or “health” can be seen in such extremely different perspectives, yet we all have similar emotions attached to it. Eye opening…
I stumbled upon your blog via the Faith, Fitness, Fun blog (30 DSLR) and wanted to say how much I enjoyed this post. I love this line, “But what I have learned is that “fat” and “different” and “pretty” are just words. What matters is what is on the inside and, how you feel about yourself. And THAT shows more than anything else.” This is so true!!
Thanks for sharing.
Melinda
Wow. I love learning about different cultures. I think it’s so interesting to see how different parts of the world think and what they believe, especially with food and body image. It really puts things in perspective, huh?
Mmmm–such good food for thought. My friend and I were just contemplating over the weekend how we’ve both gained about 10 lbs over the past year (a “late twenties” thing?) but wanted to stay confident in our beauty, keep living healthy lives, and not worry about the little extra.
Such an interesting post! It doesn’t surprise me that calling someone “fat” is actually a compliment in that part of the world; it makes perfect sense that when so many people don’t have enough to eat, having some meat on your bones is considered a very good thing! But I find it especially fascinating that some kind of body image issue is present in any part of the world, particularly for women. While in many ways it’s a total shame, it’s also a point of connection between women. Sharing in that struggle can help us form a kind of international sisterhood, you think?
This is a really good, eye-opening post! It’s so interesting to think of the difference between our reaction to certain words, and the reactions of those in other cultures. Of course it makes perfect sense that this would be a compliment in a country where people are struggling to get enough food to survive. But I can completely understand how you would still struggle with it (because you have the lens of the American culture, where it’s never a compliment!). I’m glad Mozambique was able to give you a revelation of sorts that you never really expected.
And in regards to what you write about — the way I see it, when you’re passionate about a topic, it shines through in your writing. So keep on writing whatever suits your fancy.
Great post! I really enjoyed reading this…a little perspective from others is all it takes sometimes to realize how ridiculous are own culture can be at times. Thanks for writing this, Courtney!