Requisite Sunday Musings
Sunday afternoon. Doesn’t really feel like a Sunday, because instead of getting geared up for another week after a relaxing weekend, I had to work all day BOTH days, so I’ve been at the office from 8-5ish the last seven days, and am going back tomorrow. So now my body and brain are just CONFUSED. This should be a good post…
In the latest Moz news, apparently in addition to our regular power outages, our city has decided that we won’t have electricity on Saturdays before 6PM at least until the end of the year. That means my day of rest will have no light, no internet, no movies or TV, etc. Nothing like being forced to sit in your dark hut and do nothing! It really is kind of nice, being forced to do nothing. And I feel real sexy wearing a headlamp all the time.
We are more than halfway through May, and como o tempo voa (how the time flies)! At the beginning of the month I set some goals for myself. How am I doing? Well, finished Great Expectations (finally) and now have moved to something even more intellectual: rereading the Twilight series. Sorry bout it. Runs: five, including one for over two hours, right on track there. Flossing: fail. Nothing else needs to be said about that. I am not making goals for June. I am goal’ed out for now. Maybe I will just recommit to flossing. Ew.
Another thing mentioned in my goals was having a bunch of trainings for work. (I know I still haven’t talked about what I DO in Mozambique–it’s coming.) And those have been the cause of MUCH stress. There has been a lot of cocoa and cookies in my life recently, and that’s how I know I’ve been stressed. Because let’s face it, cocoa and cookies always help. (Correction: eating a pack of 15 cookies every day for a week just because you’re stressed and they cost 30 cents, doesn’t actually help anyone.) In brighter news, two weeks from this weekend I will be in Swaziland at a music fest, a month from today I will be in South Africa for the WORLD CUP, and I just bought a plane ticket to Thailand. Who can complain?
I have been having lots of trouble with my work computer, because it is European but often reverts to a English keyboard. So all the punctuation is not where it is supposed to be. This doesn’t seem like a big deal, but I have a bad habit of ending lots of blog comments with a smiley face. I want to get better at this, I truly do. (Do I hear another goal coming on?) Because ” : ) ” is just not always necessary. It has become a big problem, though, with the punctuation constantly changing on my keyboard. Because I have unintentionally left a lot of comments like this:
“I LOVE YOUR BLOG!!! >( “
Yeah, pretty sure THAT isn’t winning me any blog friends.
Speaking of comments, I just want to say a big THANK YOU to anyone who has been reading my blog over the last few weeks! Seriously, I get giddy every time someone leaves a comment. I created P&P to have a creative outlet for myself when I am out here in Mozambique and knowing that there is a whole audience out there with similar interests that is friendly and supportive, really helps me feel less isolated and closer to “home” than I often feel otherwise (11,000 miles will do that to you).
But with that being said… I have only six months left in Mozambique, as of last weekend. Six months feels like nothing; it has been almost 20. And to be honest, I am so excited to go home. I can’t stop thinking about it: from all the food I’m going to eat, to all the hot showers I am going to take, to the marathon I am going to run, and a million other things that fall under the “WHEN I GO HOME” category. And this is well and good but…
I am scared I am missing my Now.
I have always been a planner… someone who is constantly looking ahead to the next thing, the next big change, the next step. And that’s okay, but not when it hinders my ability to fully experience my Present. And here, thinking about “after” is a coping mechanism, because lets face it: living in an African village, far, far, away from the people, places, culture, food, and so on that you know and love, can kind of suck sometimes. Sure, it’s amazing a lot of the time. But it is also REALLY HARD. And an easy way to cope with it is to keep my head in the future, when life will make more sense.
Sure, it’s okay to imagine a world where there is electricity on Saturdays, where the toilet paper has more than one ply, where I don’t eat chicken and rice for six meals in a row, where cockroaches aren’t my bedfellows. It’s okay. But the more time I spend thinking about LATER, the less I am thinking about NOW. And tomorrow’s never guaranteed, right? No day but today?
I’m in the homestretch now. Six months. Six measly months. And then Peace Corps is over, forever. And I don’t want to look back on this time and realize that I missed out by wishing it would go by faster. I have a card in my room that says “Any given moment can change your life… you just have to BE there.”
And I want to BE there, down the homestretch. Fully experience this crazy life that I have here. Even when it is hard.
Tales from the Crypt My Mozambican Kitchen
In foodie news... this weekend I wanted to make Brandi’s Nutella Marbled Banana Bread. And sure, I just had Saturday evening, but it had been a rough day and I figured baking would be therapeutic. (Note to self for future reference: when you have already tried to console yourself with cookies, biscuits, and rusks on a bad day, DON’T break out the Nutella.) I had some bananas (they finally reappeared after nearly a month disappearance) rotting ripening on the table, and decided to just go for it.
First problem: the pan. See, I don’t have a loaf pan. I have three choices: a huge bundt cake pan, a mini loaf pan the size of my hand, or six muffins the size of my face.
I picked the bundt cake. Next problem: the ingredients. Brandi’s posted recipe is awesome, but it calls for applesauce. Which would involve 1. having apples and then 2. making applesauce from scratch. So I used real very fake butter instead. Continuing with my UNhealthy substitutions, I used vegetable oil instead (no canola on this continent). And walnuts instead of hazelnuts because, well, it’s a miracle I even HAVE walnuts. Correction: HAD walnuts. My “whole wheat” flour is super-refined white flour with wheat flakes in it. I also threw in some baking powder just in case cuz I wasn’t sure my baking soda would work. I’m not even sure if it is actual baking soda.
And the milk! The recipe called for buttermilk. Yeah, right. I went to three stores today to find some long life milk. AKA, so chemically processed it can sit on the shelf for two years and then once you open it it goes bad in like two days. Well, I finally succeeded. But here’s the story. In the States, we have whole milk and skim milk. In Portuguese, it’s leite gordo or leite magro. Literally, FAT milk or SKINNY milk. And of course, I can only get FAT milk 95% of the time. Talk about a hit on the self esteem. My fat milk just sitting there, mocking me. “Come and get me, fatty!” And so I did.
So I think I found my true calling as a blogger: taking other people’s great recipes and Africanizing them, making them all unhealthy again. “Read MY blog for inspiration, guys!!! I use fake butter, the wrong nuts and FATTY milk! This is the REAL DEAL!!!” I think I just found a new tagline for my blog.
I should mention that as soon as I greased the pan, my electricity cut out, leaving me in the pitch darkness. (But it was after six…) so I did all my preparing in the dark. Well, with my headlamp, which means at any given point I had half a dozen mosquitoes buzzing around my face, in my eyes, or up my nose. Needless to say, I wasn’t taking too many pictures. In my confusion, I mixed everything together in the completely wrong order. I did get to take out some of the stress by “chopping” my nuts Mozambican style–by pulverizing them with a big stick.
Lights came on just in time for the nutella swirl. Also just in time for me to eat my day’s worth of calories straight from the jar. Does anyone else have this problem with nutella? It may be the death of me. Oh, and I only burned myself about three times trying to dig around in our oven for this stupid pan. Nothing like the smell of burning flesh to ruin the smell of fresh banana bread. Looked done after 20 minutes…
But wasn’t. (Don’t ask me at what temp I cooked it, my stove has no gauge.) 7 more minutes and it was definitely done. A couple of bites one slice two slices three slices later and I was thoroughly convinced that this is one of the best things I have ever cooked… ever. Which as anyone knows who has seen this blog, is not saying much of anything.
Despite the unhealthiness (or maybe because of it… can I get an amen for fat milk?), the power outage, moldy bananas, and the general confusion of the whole process. We’ll call it a success. And at least for this whole baking process… I was living in the moment. 
And right now, that’s exactly where I need to be.
Are you a live-in-the-moment person, or are you often looking to the future? How do you live in the present moment? Any advice?
Twitter
LinkedIn
Flickr
Facebook
2 things:
1. The bread looks so incredibly pretty.
2. I love your writing (and of course your blog). I’m glad to offer any bloggy support whenever you feel lonely. (even though this may or may not be my first comment on your blog?!) I’m addicted to reading Pancakes and Postcards.
And I am a total total planner. I’m trying extremely hard to be more spontaneous, and to let things happen, but it’s rather difficult. I’m just forcing myself to NOT plan for certain things. For example, whenever I go somewhere I have all my directions written out, alternate ones, nearby restaurants that I’ve looked up, train times, etc. So one day this summer my boyfriend is picking me up and we’re just driving. somewhere. no destination. no maps. no predetermined anything.
This makes me want to hyperventilate, but I think it will be good for making me live in the “now”.
Hi!
I just wanted to let you know that I really enjoy reading your blog!
I had the same experience when I lived in Taiwan. I could recognize that where I was living and what I was doing was soooo cool….but it was really hard not to constantly miss the comforts of home.
With that said, trust me, one week after coming home, and you’ll be wishing you were travelling again! So enjoy Moz for now, and try to stay in the moment. But I think it will keep you sane to plan what you want to do when you get home, and list all the things you want to eat when you get back.
Take care!
Dude, I totally have a list. And it is all the most ridiculous things. Like, every fast food establishment is on there and I don´t even LIKE fast food!
I ended up just eating a lot of cereal and coffee when I went home for Christmas.
I know that after a week I will want to be back and I am trying to reflect on THAT constantly when I feel myself wishing it would rush by!
Thanks for stopping by my blog!!!
I just told my husband that you are going to the World Cup…he is BEYOND jealous!!!
I struggle with living in the present moment all the time. Like you, I’m very much a planner; I’m very future-oriented. At one point I actually tried to train myself to appreciate the present moment more by posting notes and reminders all over (on my fridge, in my car, on my bathroom mirror, etc.) that said, “Live in the moment.” Every time I would see one I would take a few deep breaths and remind myself to be PRESENT. It worked for a bit, but I’ve since slipped into the future-mentality again…so I’m right there with you in terms of trying to appreciate the here and now!
Great post! i will have to try that nutella banana bread…
that’s a hard but valuable lesson to learn- being present where you are. Many times i will be somewhere but will already be thinking about where i’m going next. when i get to the next place, i’m thinking about and planning the next place… it’s a pattern that keeps me from enjoying where i’m at!
ps: i share your hatred toward flossing. it’s the worst.
let me start off by saying how TOTALLY JEALOUS i am that you’re going to the world cup!! i tried my best to convince my uncle to go with me, but to no avail – you’d better take pictures while you’re there!
i really really like your blog, i love traveling and i also love food, but what i love most is how youre incorporating a foreign lifestyle with healthy blogging!
thank god you’ve got a laptop there lol (:
(that ending smilie face was just for you)
First off, I love your blog and I’m excited you want to do a guest post for me. You have so many amazing things you can share. I could not imagine living the way you are choosing to live to gain such experiences and do good in the world. Awesome!
Your upcoming trips sound great. I get stuck looking forward to things and not focusing on the here and now too. It’s tough when you have things to be excited about.
Fat vs. skinny milk LOL. I’m sure the fatty milk made the bread super moist & delicious
I’m always looking into the future too. But you’ve been given such a unique experience, you should try to soak it in (even the lack of electricity)! Yeah, I say that now but if I didn’t have electricity, I’d be freaking out…lol
I LOVE YOUR BLOG
I love your blog? I couldn’t resist
Looks like you have some fun trips planned to help you live in the molment. I have a quote board in my room above my desk, and looking at it reminds me of important things. I try! hehe. I love that your talking about healthing living in harder conditions and how you can even successfully make nutella bread there!
Oh, so familiar! I miss the good ol’ days! And so will you! Lindsay and I started two lists during the homestretch:
-things we’re looking forward to (in the US)
-thinks we’re going to miss (from Moz/Africa)
Of course, the first was a bit longer at that point…but I think that the second list really make me appreciate everything going on around me a little more. I really wish that I had documented more–but lucky for me, you took my place and can remind me of all the wonderful (and maybe not-so-wonderful) things I left behind. Six months! Wow! Crazy!! That last part goes fast!
On another note, are the lemon bites still around? I loved those cookies! And they were too cheap for my own good!
I find it interesting (though perhaps not super surprising) that you and the majority of your readers/commenters are all future-looking people. I’m very much the opposite. I try to keep a general idea in my head of where I want to be / what I want to do in the future (be that next month, or the next decade), but I rarely ever plan concrete things that far in advance. I like to be very flexible, and just kind of wing it day-to-day. Neither one is better than the other, of course. Always good to try to strike a balance.
First of all, don’t get down on yourself for looking forward to being home. You’ve been in Africa for a while now, so it’s only natural! In fact, I think I’d be homesick after a week
With that being said, I’m really glad to see that you’re going to take in the next 6 months as much as you can. In the long run, you might look back and see those 6 months as being the most meaningful times of being in Africa, you know? Speaking of which, I’ve got to be honest and say that I am truly envious that you’ve gotten to experience that journey…!
Oh, and by the way, I really love your writing style
I just stumbled across your blog and absolutely love it. You have the best attitude about life! I would love to go to Africa while working on my Masters, so what you’re doing is really cool. And that bread looks a-m-a-z-i-n-g. I probably would’ve had a panic attack and given up under those circumstances.
I’m totally the same way with looking forward. I have 5 weeks left and I have to constantly remind myself to not wish the time away, now that things are seriously winding down. I also have to stop planning out my first 10 meals at home because it’s getting ridiculous =). Also congrats on having bananas!!! and going to the WORLD CUP!!!! Awesome!!
What an amazing quote! It’s so true, you do have to BE there. I am suuuch a planner but am working on living in the moment. And that bundt cake looks great- anything with nutella swirl is probably delicious!!
“Taking other people’s great recipes and Africanizing them, making them all unhealthy again”
““chopping” my nuts Mozambican style–by pulverizing them with a big stick.
Haha, I love it. I’m always so impressed with your resolve and Macgruber-like ingenuity when it comes to cooking.
courtney your amazing!!! i mso glad u found my blog, im going to subscribe to urs cuz i need to come back to keep drooling over picks like that freaking delicious dessert! omg. and i totally know what u mean about the “i love your blog” comments.. ive done them so many times because seriously,.. it happens all the time that i stumble upon a blog and thats all i can think of saying! lol. sometimes it gets me brownie points..other times i think people just think im strange lol.
Wow, I love how you took the risk and changed the recipe to fit what you had available. I am sure it is difficult to find the “special” ingredients you see all over blog-land in Africa!
Courtney!!!!! This blog brightens my day so much. You are so strong and I’m so proud of you
– can’t wait til you are hoooooome with me! I know how it goes to be stuck in a small village in the middle of nowhere. When are you going to Thailand? AHHH YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE IT, IT IS SO F-ing PRETTY!!!
I’m unfortunately a live-for-the-future kind of gal. I’ve found that practicing yoga on a regular basis and journalling on a daily basis helps me live in the moments of life…but I’m not too great at doing either of those regularly lately!
I love that you tried the recipe – that swirl looks perfect, girl
My little sister lives in spain right now and tried making my banana bread recipe and had to change a bunch of stuff because she couldn’t get applesauce either! IT can be done! 
Looks good.
I think buttermilk can be “made” via milk and vineagar…not sure!